什么叫"强句"
"强句"不是长句,也不是用词花哨的句子,而是每个词都在做事的句子。它的特征有四个:动词承担动作、主语清晰具体、句子结构平行、没有可删的废话。这一章我们逐个拆解。
一、主谓一致:不是规则问题,是声音问题
主谓一致(subject-verb agreement)在语法书里只是一个小条目,但在写作里它是一个读感问题。母语者读到主谓不一致时,会立刻产生"这人英文不熟"的判断,比拼写错误还致命。
最容易出错的几种情况:
1. 主语被中间的修饰拉开
错
The list of items are on the desk.
对
The list of items is on the desk.
真正的主语是 list,of items 是修饰,谓语跟 list 走。
2. 不定代词容易蒙混
each、everyone、nobody、someone、either、neither 都按单数处理:
Everyone is welcome. (×Everyone are)
Neither of them was hurt. (×were)
3. 集合名词看语义
美式英语里 team / staff / family / company 通常视为单数;但当强调"成员各自"时也可以用复数(更常见于英式英语)。
The team is preparing for the launch. (整体)
The staff are arguing among themselves. (个体)
4. 数量结构
a number of 后接复数动词,the number of 后接单数动词,永远记反就完了:
A number of students are absent.
The number of students is decreasing.
检查主谓一致时,把所有 of 短语和定语从句先用括号挡住,看主语和动词是不是直接配对。这一招能消灭 90% 的此类错误。
二、强动词替代弱动词
这是这一章最重要的一节。句子的力量几乎完全来自动词。当你换掉一个弱动词,句子立刻有了肌肉。
常见的弱动词有 be / have / get / do / make / conduct,它们大多数情况下可以被一个具体动词替代。
| 弱动词组合 | 强动词替代 | 注释 |
|---|---|---|
| make a decision | decide | 多余名词化 |
| make a contribution | contribute | 同上 |
| make an improvement | improve | 同上 |
| have a discussion about | discuss | 同上 |
| have an effect on | affect | 同上 |
| conduct an investigation | investigate | 同上 |
| give consideration to | consider | 同上 |
| provide assistance to | help / assist | 同上 |
| perform an analysis of | analyze | 同上 |
| do research on | research / study | 同上 |
更进一步,把日常的动词换成更精确的强动词:
| 泛动词 | 具体动词候选 |
|---|---|
| make | craft, produce, generate, forge, design, construct |
| say | state, declare, argue, contend, claim, observe |
| show | reveal, demonstrate, illustrate, expose, depict |
| use | employ, leverage, deploy, apply, harness |
| think | argue, contend, hold, maintain, suspect |
| get | obtain, acquire, secure, achieve, attain |
| help | support, facilitate, enable, foster, bolster |
例句对比:
原稿
The author makes the point that we should think about climate change.
修改后
The author argues that we must confront climate change.
原稿
This report shows the data of last year.
修改后
This report presents last year's data.
每次写完一段,圈出所有 be / have / make / get / do,问自己:"这个动词是不是空洞?"如果是,换成具体动词。这个练习做一个月,写作水平会有可见的提升。
三、避免 there be 滥用
There is / There are 是中文写作者最爱用的句式之一,因为它正好对应中文里的"有"。但它有几个问题:
- 主语是
there,动词是is/are,真正的"主角"被推到后面。 - 它把动作降级成"存在",让句子缺少力量。
- 它经常带来冗余,比如
There are some people who think...完全可以压成Some think...。
原稿
There are many factors that influence consumer behavior.
修改后
Many factors influence consumer behavior.
原稿
There is a need for us to improve the system.
修改后
We need to improve the system.
原稿
There were three reasons that led to the failure.
修改后
Three reasons led to the failure.
there be 不是绝对禁用——介绍存在事实时它仍然合适,比如 There are seven continents. 但如果你在一篇文章里用了三次以上,几乎可以肯定有几次是该改的。
四、避免被动语态滥用
很多中国学生被中学英语教育"驯化"出一个习惯:写得正式就用被动。事实上,主动语态在英文写作里几乎永远更优。被动语态只在三种场景里合理:
- 动作的执行者不重要或未知(
The window was broken.) - 需要把动作的承受者放在句首作为主题(
The decision was made by the board.) - 科学论文里的实验描述(
Samples were collected on March 5.)
被动滥用
The report was written by me last week, and many revisions were made by my colleagues.
主动改写
I wrote the report last week; my colleagues revised it many times.
被动滥用
It is believed by many people that AI will replace human workers.
主动改写
Many believe AI will replace human workers.
It is believed that、It is considered that、It can be seen that 这一类"无主被动 + 形式主语"句式在英文学术写作里被广泛批评,几乎所有写作风格指南(Strunk & White、APA Style、The Economist Style Guide)都明确建议替换。Many believe / We can see / Researchers consider 都比它好。
五、并列结构必须平行(Parallelism)
当你用 and / or / but 把几个事物并列时,语法形态必须一致。这叫平行结构(parallel structure),是英文写作里最容易被忽略、又最影响读感的细节。
名词并列要求形态一致
错
She likes swimming, to read, and cookies.
对
She likes swimming, reading, and baking.
动词并列要求时态一致
错
He opened the door, walks in, and was sitting down.
对
He opened the door, walked in, and sat down.
从句并列要求结构一致
错
The professor said that the deadline is firm and to submit on time.
对
The professor said that the deadline is firm and that students must submit on time.
列表并列必须每条同型
简历里这条特别常见错。错误版本:
- Led a team of 5 engineers
- Responsible for backend
- Improving system uptime by 30%
第一条是动词过去式开头,第二条是形容词开头,第三条是动词 -ing 开头。完全没法读。改写:
- Led a team of 5 engineers
- Owned backend architecture
- Improved system uptime by 30%
三条全部用动词过去式开头,瞬间整齐。这种平行性是简历能否过 ATS(求职机器人筛选)的关键之一,第七章会重点讲。
六、删掉句子里所有可删的词
William Strunk 在《The Elements of Style》里写过一句被引用了上百年的话:"Omit needless words."(删掉不必要的词。)这是英文写作里最重要的训练。
| 啰嗦表达 | 简洁替代 |
|---|---|
| at this point in time | now |
| in the event that | if |
| due to the fact that | because |
| in spite of the fact that | although |
| for the purpose of | to / for |
| in order to | to |
| a large number of | many |
| in close proximity to | near |
| at the present time | now |
| it is important to note that | (直接删) |
对比:
原稿
Due to the fact that there are a large number of users at this point in time, in order to maintain stability, we are conducting an investigation.
修改后
Because many users are active now, we are investigating to maintain stability.
22 个词压成 13 个词,意思一点没丢,反而更清楚。这就是删词的力量。
七、句子长度的节奏
最后一节讲一个进阶技巧:变化句子长度。
读起来无聊的英文段落,往往是因为每句都差不多长。读起来有节奏感的段落,会有意把长短句穿插。比如:
The economy is shifting. Old industries are losing ground; new ones,
powered by software and capital, are rising fast. We can resist this.
We can adapt. The choice is ours.
三个长句之后,故意来一组短句 We can resist this. We can adapt. The choice is ours. 节奏立刻变得铿锵。这种长短交替是优秀英文作者的标志技巧之一。
挑一段你过去写的英文,按这一章七个要点逐条改:(1) 主谓一致 (2) 强动词 (3) 删掉 there be (4) 主动改被动 (5) 平行 (6) 删废话 (7) 长短交错。改完之后大声朗读,对比改前改后的差异。这一遍练习胜过你看十本写作书。